Simplicity Yet ComplicatedNice But Can Be EvilWhat Needs To Be SpokenShall Be Spoken..aboutstoriesspeakescapes
Welcome To The World Of Marina.
Simple Rule Applies..don't like it, leave!
AbtMe!
MaRinA iS Me!
Just Turned 20 on 18Aug. . LEO BABY=D
PAP//Xingnan Pri//Westwood Sec//ITE SiMei AHS//Hospital
Missy IN Nursing since Jan 2006
Passion:Arts + Photography + Music + Dance + Family(1Love!)
Loved: 1Love Cousins + Suspects
Life status: SingleHood
Love status:Single
Bloggy Officially started on:4thJune2006=)
Four Days Of Rest..Solid Rest.. Yesterday i woke up feeling unwell..i checked my temperature,it was 39.5 degree.. i immediately took a shower and visited the doctor.. Received 2 days of MC..down with fever, bad sore throat, gastric pain.. My voice started to lose itself..and at the end of the day,i was speaking very soft.. currently,i'm better..just that my throat is still very sore and it still hurts..!
a million thanks to Adeq Nurrull, Adq Zaimie, Kak Ezah and Dee for all the concern that they gave..i'm much better now..=)) many thanks ya?=))
*sorry cant update much..feel too sick to update blog now..sorry*
Its Been A Week Already.. *my rest day is coming...*
i'm dead..!i'm getting sick..as in seriously sick.. i had an episode of a bad heartburn at work just now... i was working happily with my staff..but things come to a change.. anger and frustration run through my mind..
its been a week since u left..*only a week*.. only a week but i miss you like crazy.. i wanna see you soon.. i honestly miss you like many2..!! i wanna hug you!!=(( i miss you... come back soon can?
*i'm missing you dear...* *pay day is here babbyy..=))*
Working afternoon morning afternoon morning afternoon morning.. i'm dying off now..seriously dying off..!! i'm physically getting tired.. falling sick actually..body temperature rising..throat getting sore.. i ask myself..am i falling sick because of work?or because i miss you? BOTH!!i miss you dearly..and i'm tired.. Today morning was very cold as it was raining heavily.. and i told myself,how i wish you were there by myside.. hugging me in ur arms..holding ur hand..leaning against you.. getting ur warmth..feeling your love..i truly miss you dear.. i know we aint officially together or anything.. but in my heart,there's only YOU... Looking forward to friday and saturday..its gonna be my OFF DAY!!!=)) and oops..i forgot to mention,i got a new baby on 19th June..=)) *hehee..new handphone i mean..=)*
Its Been Days Since you left me alone in Singapore..
been busy working since tuesday.. Went out with Anna&Zhizhong on Monday.. we went to JE, K!Pool..=) i learnt how to play proper pool.. Instructor was: Anna & Zhizhong of course..=) and heyhey..i learnt fast ok..=))i want to play pool again cann?? after then we went seperate ways,me and anna went CCK.. msged ZaimieDeq and asked whether he was working or not so can meet up or sth.. and he wasnt working and so coincident that he aint working and he was at clementi.. so we decided to meet up..=))and i miss my adeq zaimie dearly!!! we went CCK and walk2..den had dinner and went home..=)) we took 172 home..=)in the bus, Adeq slept on my shoulder.. as my adeq sleep,i stroke his cheeks and let him fall asleep..=)) my adeq look so innocent when he sleep..so cute..=))
******** Work Work and more Work!! been working afternoon afternoon morning these days.. so far, busy but tolerated..;)*first time ahh!!* above all,been working with him in my mind...=))
******* You left for NS on Monday morning..and gosh!!i didnt sleep till 5am? simply because i was crying to myself in my room.. missing you so much even though we just met.. till today,i've been missing you like crazy.. everyday i think of you..you were always there on my mind.. when i feel lost,i thought of you..and dream of being in ur arms.. having your warmth and having u next to me,i'll just melt away..=)) i'm loving u more and more everyday.. when are u coming back??i miss you tau.. and its all ur fault..u made me sayang u more..=((but i love it!!=)) i decided to let u come to meet my place for Raya k?set?=))))
********** Sayang... i'm loving you soOoooOooOoo much!! i'm crazyly in love with you..=)
*********** Reply To Taggers..=)) DeqNani: hehee..i've got so much to tell you lah dear..how? heehee..i'm loving him more definately..crazyly in love with him lagi ader..can3..we meet up and talk non stop kies...=))Love ya DeQ!! YiChin: *wave our style!* thats gd for you..=))) Hanjie: good for u all lah..=))i've link u up liao..=)) tC!! Krystal: thats good..=))i only want the best for u all..=)) see u soon k? miss ya!! Ink-splat: heheee..i know..i'll tell u more when we meet online kies?? LOVED!! Liza: wokie..=)) thanks dear..u take care kies?=)) miss ya!!
..The Happiest Day Of My Life.. *you brighten up my day*
Today i went out with Faeezah,Shai and him=) i thought i was late..but hehee..i wasnt..=P while waiting for shai, faeezah & him, i walked from city link to suntec.. ard 12.55nn, shai & faeezah arrived.. called him, but he forgot sth,so he went home to get it.. So me,shai & faeez walked to Marina Square first to explore around.. while exploring,we got thristy and hungry.. so we stopped at LJS for lunch.. after talking and talking..faeez called him and asked where is he.. and he was at bugis?eating?WTH!!*lol!* so we left the place and walked around Marina.. we went to the bowling alley to check it out.. and it was pretty expensive..=P so we thought of changing place to DownTown or Kallang? We called him and asked where he was..and he was already at Esplanade.. we told him to wait for us there and don't move.. as we were walking, faeez received a phone call..it was him.. he was asking her where we are.. but actually he was infront of us.. we walked to Esplanade to decide where to go.. After talking, we decided to bowl at Marina..=))
In total, we played 3 games..*alot right?* In that 3 games which lasted for about 2hours plus..,i swear to god that i was melting away..as he held my hand,i wish time will stop..every kiss that he gave,touched my heart and melt me even more..and most of the time,i was hugging him..the hugs that he gave, was what i've been wanting..the warmth that i got from his hugs,i could just melt away..his kisses are just so lovely..cause every kiss that he gave,my heart melt away.. during the first game,i had alot of pressure from him..his eyes are scaring me..pressurising me to play properly.. The second game,it was lesser pressure, cause i was doing better.. the third game,i was leading!!=))but he still bet me of course..
After playing bowling,we went to the bay to sit and just rest.. he bought food and drink for me..*so sweeet..* we sat and talked about a thousand and one things.. as we talk,i got comfortable in his arms..cuddling myself in his arms.. when it was time for him to leave,i nearly cried infront of him..telling him to takecare.. after which,faeez and shai send me to the platform.. ..Home Sweet Home..
**when you held my hand,i wish time could stop and just let me be with me.. when you kissed me,i wish time could stop cause every kiss that you gave,just melt me.. when you held me in ur arms,i wish you never had to leave.. your kisses and your warm hugs,will forever be remembered and be still alive in my mind.. with you away serving NS,i dont know what i'll do without you.. Today,you made me the happiest gurl on earth.. you hugs,ur kiss,ur touch,ur smile and ur voice will remain fresh in my mind..cherishing every moment we've spend together.. and i swear i'm still loving you till this very second.. i love you and still in love with you and only you...**
DeqNani: Hmm..i dun noe adeq..i'm just purely lost now..nak kate regret,i do feel it..lagi2 dier nak gi NS..hurhur..i wanna talk to you lah deqq...hurhur..='(...i really nid to ventilate me thoughts...
CatJie: you know that someone jie..hurhur..i know..i do feel regret and everything and i admit its too late now to turn things back..haiz...i dun noe wad to do jie...
Weets: Hurhurr...not easy u know..esp when u know how deep i love him right galgal?hurhur..i feel like crying everyday u know..simply because i feel regret in me..haiz...
B.U.S.Y W.O.R.K.I.N.G.... been working since LAST THURSDAY TILL TODAY.. and sadly, my next off day is only this coming SUNDAY!! *sux big time babe!* I received my new roster for 16thJune to 29thJune RD E E D D E D E D E D RD DO E.. i'm going to work for another 10 days straight.. i'm already working 9 days straight this week.. next week will be another 10 days.. Trust me..I'm getting tired day after day.. not having enough sleep and everything..*hurhur* i'm getting very tired physically and mentally..emotionally too actually.. anyway,i'm planning to buy a new phone at the end of the month.. any suggestion?=)) ************** LOVE..is such a beauty and trust me,i miss being loved by someone.. its been a long time since i had a boyfriend*trust me..its been long..* and i dun noe,i envy those with boyfriend or girlfriend.. i mean,i've been wanting to have a special person in my life.. i just simply miss LOVE..i miss getting the warmth from your loved one and everything.. maybe i've fallen in love so deep, that i expect a certain mark in love..? i dun noe..as a LeoBaby,i love being loved and loves to be in love..
I swear to god that i did something very stupid and hurting yesterday night.. i msged him and told him that i'm letting him go for now.. letting him find his freedom and everything.. i'll be behind him for sure 24-7..but i cant tell him that i miss every other night anymore.. its something that i know i'll regret one day or another.. i cried so much yesterday night.. tell myself.."why did i do it?why??!!" Fact: i love him and i truly do..*many of you will know who i'm refering to..* and i have never fallen in love so deep with any other guy ever since he entered my heart.. What i did yesterday night was the hardest thing i have ever done..killing myself deep.. i told myself..*i got to move on..he'll be NS for two years..just pray for his safety and that he'll be a better man after two years..Within that two years,i'll move on with life..enjoying life to the fullest..but at the same time,see whether he's made for me or someone else is made for me..*
***********
Decided to go out today to let myself go and relax.. Msged KakEzah..So i met KakEzah&Shai at tanah merah platform and headed towards the Airport..*out of all places,why airport?i want to go T3!!=)* So we walked around..and searched for shai's future working place..we were walking round and round..and finally found it!!=)it was so near actually..=P after which,we bought 1 large pureChocolateIceBlend from CoffeeBeans and headed for T3..=) we walked around..and we had our laughters..=) *adeq-beradeq of Swensens anyone?* Chocolates..and more chocolates..we were nearly drooling at the chocolateFactory..*drooll* from T3..we went to T1..and from T1 to T2.. decided to have our meal at McDonalds..We are the McSpicyLovers..=P as we had our meal,we talked about a-Thousand-and-one topics.. hahaa..talking about things we shouldnt be talking about.. talking about "him"..and yada yada yada..*not gonna say what we said* we then had Sundaes..ChocolateSundaes..=)) and we continue talking till about 1845hrs.. we are planning to go out again..but dunnoe when..=P*oneday..* reached home ard 8pm?yah.. Tomorrow will be the start of my 9StraightWorkingDays..*yiaks!!* ****** i wanna move on.but will i be able to move on without you..? ..i just want you to be mine...
Loving you is such a beauty.. but at the same time,it hurts me like *^&@.. being jealous and everything? something that i should only feel for my boyfriend right? but why am i feeling this way towards you..? i'm tired now.. i should let things go and let nature find its own course..
two parts to today's entry.. 1)camwhoring with ginaMei 2)i'm in love..but shd this love come to and end to start a new one?
PART ONE.. Met up with Gina Mei to guide her through the topics for the presentation..=))and after which, with me around..CAMWHORING came..!!=))
****
PART TWO Honestly,i've been thinking about "him" since yesterday night.. a whole lot of feelings running in me at one shot..Fear!Doubt!Sad!Dissapointed!Angry!Worried!Lost!
i don't know what to do exactly..I love him and i truly do love him.. But knowing his personality,another 2years waiting for him might just be waiting of time for me OR a sense of security..? I have to wait to know what the future lies ahead right?
Truly in love with him since 2006..sacrificed alot for him.. cared for him..protected him.. another 2years..will definately be filled with uncertainties.. i question myself and asking whether i should still love him.. half of me says,"give up..move on!" the other half said "who are u trying to fool here marina..every1 knows u love him with your whole heart or even more..with your whole life.." what am i to do actually?i have no idea..
i wanna love him and let him be the man of my life.. but..the future is unclear..2yrs he'll be NS..2 whole years.. and God!!i'll miss him like crazy for sure.. i seriously wanna love him and only him..but please.. show me a sign..give me a sense of security.. you know that i love you and only you..no one else.. so please..give me a sign if i should give up or anything..
PS: seeking for security & love.. (i need a warm hug....)