Simplicity Yet Complicated Nice But Can Be Evil What Needs To Be Spoken Shall Be Spoken.. about stories speak escapes

Welcome To The World Of Marina.
Simple Rule Applies..don't like it, leave!

MaRinA iS Me!
Just Turned 20 on 18Aug. . LEO BABY=D
PAP//Xingnan Pri//Westwood Sec//ITE SiMei AHS//Hospital
Missy IN Nursing since Jan 2006
Passion:Arts + Photography + Music + Dance + Family(1Love!)
Loved: 1Love Cousins + Suspects
Life status: SingleHood
Love status:Single
Bloggy Officially started on:4thJune2006=)


Wants!
Adidas Watch
Canon DSLR
MacBook Laptop
Red.White.Black. HEELS
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
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December 2007
January 2008
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April 2008
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July 2008
August 2008
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October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009

MiLLiOn ThAnkS To...

*DeeDee*
((thanks for talking to me dee..since 8pm i think i chat with you and voice out everything..thank u thank u..*sayang kau lahhh!!!heheee..*nanti confirm umpe kau, confirm aku nak shout ur name out loud like how i used to shout..only that i will shout it louder!!=D heheee..i will try to stay strong..bab aku tau..u,sal and ima is there for me..u have always been there for me dee.. honestly,i couldnt have ask for any1 else..klau tak umpe kat nursing,agaknye tak kenal pun ehh??sayang kau dee...))

*Hannah Sis*
((SIS!!i love u to the max!!=Dthanks for everything sis..you simply rock!!
i know how much u wanted me to..but now, if i need anything, i know i have u..
and having u in my heart and mind now,i will always wanna be strong..sayang sis!!
busy or not,u've been hearing my prob..and i thank u..love ya!!and i always will))

*Zaimie Deq*
((AdeQ!!i really love you..=)thanks for the very touching message..i was moved to tears reading it deq..i know,deep within,u are always there for me..thick or thin..u are always there..and i know,when we meet..and when i finally get to hug you..i know i'll break into tears..love ya always deq!!=D)) Running Into Depression?

that is the question that is running in my mind at this very moment..
am i depressed? can some1 tell me..?

Honestly, life have been on the down side for me.. No matter how hard or how much i try to be happy in life, i failed..I know i do not look as though i am feeling down or crying deep inside.. The fact is that i am crying and bleeding deep within me.. I dun know what is going to happen to me mentally..i'm falling apart and breaking into pieces..call me emotional or whatever,i don't care..

I'm having too many stress in my mind..i'm breaking down..
i never felt like this before and its my first time feeling this way..feeling so down and depressed for the first time..i admit that i tried moving on with life and accepting things the way it is..But i'm sorry.. I'm not strong enough to face it.. Broken and shattered into a million and one pieces..

Today,called home..asked if there was food..if not i can call delivery..and spoke to me in not a nice tone "you pay come already right?got withdraw the money not?" i only got my pay yesterday for god sake..its not as though i wun give right?..gave how much i could gave..i was questioned why its lesser this month..i explained but didnt believe me..told me "please save money lah..you working now..if u dun save, who's going to help u..?" you want me to save..i can..if i could..half of what i earn goes to you..what is left for me to save?
Sometimes i really feel as though i don't exist..i know that in life there are Up's and Down's.. But does this mean most of the time it have to be Down's?
Honestly,i cant talk to my parents or siblings on how i feel..
i cant voice out my stress or concern or problems..i cant ventilate to anyone at home at all.. i can only voice out to my cousins and friends if i see them..*i miss them deeply..^kakak,abgHan,AbgMamal,KakNoi,TwinWan^{Dee,Ima,Sal,Tasya,Ayu}..hannah sis..zaimieDeq*

Damaged..that is the exact word that describes me now.Bleeding and shattered..
I need my treatment to heal my broken soul..
Been crying since 7plus till now.. No one knows how down i am feeling..


**Marina is fading slowly.....**
back from work..
work was pretty much b-u-s-y...!!
busy busy busy..even though i was busy,i was still smiling my way through work.. wanna know why?saw the good looking guy at work..;) after so long nvr see him, the smile stayed till the end of the day..=))*grin grin*
after work, had to stay back to do some admin stuff...=P
Tomorrow going to Bukit Merah for my Lesson..9-5pm..

anyone miss me??i am missing some people... Saturday was B-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l..=)
At first, i was shattered into tears and broke down..feeling down and dissapointed with mom..she didnt let me go over for the overnight..i stayed in my room and broke into tears for hours.. Call me emotional?go ahead..But trust me,when it comes to 1love,i always wanna be there..after hours staying in my room, i decided to ask her 1 last time.. and she said YES!!=))
i was practically jumping for joy!=) Finally..!!=) i get to meet up with my long missed cousins..
If you ask, why is it so important for me to meet them? Simple! they are the sunshine of my life..the brighten up my dark life with their smiles, laughters and voices..
Left home after a shower, reached aunt place around 6plus7.. We waited for abgHan to arrive..and out for dinner we go! we went to Al-azhar at Bukit Timah to have our dinner..and the when we reached there,we got a very suprising reaction..seriously suprising reaction..=P..we ordered our drinks and food..but the food came before our drink..picture eating ur food, when u are finishing ur meal,the drink arrives..weird!=P..as we were eating,i realsie that some1 was looking at our table for sometime..it felt weird coz it was 'mat motor'..after eating,we left and on the way out,me and kak noi saw a familir face..*suspence..!!*our reaction was..wat!! just our luck..=P..in the journey back home(kakak&abg's place), we had many laughters..as usual,we are full of them when we meet=))*thats why i LOVE them!)..
after reaching home, abg mamal came..=) we talked..watched tv..and slowly..one by one got comfy at their own spot..i smiled widely..
when kakak and abg was going to join us to sleep at the living room=)
kakak wanted us to take out the big matress from joggie's room..
and in the process of taking out the matress..we had millions of laughters..
till twinWawan was on the floor laughing..kakak asked abg to slp next to her..
but..abg didnt want..and trust me, abg han was very cute(coz he is sleepy)
"i want my tilam(matress)...*heheee..=)) den i sleep next to kakak..
den kak noi said"i want to sleep next to reen......."hehehee..*cute lah kak noi...*
so comfy comfy comfy..one by one stared to fall asleep..So, GoodNight 1love!!
Sunday was G-r-e-a-t..=))
woke up around 9.30am coz i have to get ready for work*early i know!*so after shower,i got dressed..and hahahaa..MissyReen is here..=P so watched tv with them and had many laughters..time flies and we have to clear our beds and everything..as i was helping..kak noi said it seems like a costume party coz i was in my uniform..heheee..we ate breakfast and sat to talk about somestuff and everything..=)) so once we were all ready,we left the house..abg and kak noi suggested to send me somewhere near..but i told not to..dun wanna trouble them.. after that..Back to work Missy!! and guess what..i'm negative!!!!!!=))negative what? Top secret!!

Just wanna say that 1love is totally loved by me..i want to go Perak & Bangkok with u guys alrights..i really want!!=))
LOVED!!

another day at work is over..

Today was suppose to wake up by 4.45 as usual..but due to the great weather, i only woke up at 4.55am..Maybe its because i toss and turned most of the time at night..i had no idea why i couldnt sleep..Well, thats over and done with..

Today's morning weather was bad..pretty bad i must say.. Know why?Its because the train at boonlay was suppose to come around 5.55am?But it came at 6.13am today..At the back of my mind was"wad?! will i be late for work?i don't want to be late...." But thanfully,i reached Outram at 6.50am..still got time to walk to the ward..

Stepped into my ward station, i got a shock of my life..saw so much changes to the "A"..Hopefully things will be A-Ok soon..=) Anyways, my ward sister gave me AL for tomorrow and sunday..Cause we have too much staff..But the fact is,its not enough..So, sat and sun,i'm planning to spend it with my cousins!!=))*I miss them you know...*

**Pretending to be alright even though i am not..Pretending i'm fine but i'm not.. In the mist of pretending..? Work has been ok for me..Just the stress level sometimes can kill me.. The politics thats going around,is killing me slowly..Its hard working in a world where politics and pretending happens without having to blink an eye at all..Leave me out of the politics please...**

--Can i tell u that i love you? Will u walk away from me if i told u that i love you? Will you let me hug you if i said i missed you? Will you give me one last kiss if its meant to say goodbye? Will you stay by myside just for one last day and let me have the warmth from you? Will you melt my heart for one last time if we're not meant to be?--

Rest Day=)

Today i'm not working and resting at home.. Didn't want to go out or anything today.. Just want to rest at home.. Staying at home, editting some pictures and editting my blog..
Tomorrow will be back to work..*Hurhurr...*
Was plannning to go the the Sports Meets tomorrow morning..
But sadly, i cant..I have to work in the morning..=(..
*sorry Deq..i cant make it..*

Just waiting for pay-day..really need the cash now..
back with updates...=)

Today was pretty much tiring for me..
Went back to my secondary school in the afternn as usual..
Today was more of spring cleaning and packing day for me and the rest..
Instead of being Sir Kelvin's & Sir Shawn's maid, i became part time sj maid too..
i was practically mopping the entire room..=P
Was suppose to have a clean up of the room..
but thinking back,they'll just throw this and adjust that only..so..
I had to make the big move...and withing 2 hours, eveyrthing is done up..
the room looks better now..=)

But i must say, i saw a change.. i didnt expect the change to be so drastic..its really not expect but..who can stop?no one.. well, all i can say is..regrets...Purely Regrets..I shall wait and see... I'M BACK BABBYY..=))

guess what..guess what..?
my dear computer is alive once again..=)*Grinning*
after months living life without a computer that i can rely on at home,it was pretty hard for me especially coz i really depended alot on the computer..

Now..
the real update about what has been happening..

Work life for me has been hard.. I have so many things to learn and remember..
I can handle the work load.. But the work stress and politics that is running around, it's making me go crazy..not literally crazy, but just..u know what i mean..
its been 2months since i officially started work.. and i must say i'm better now..i've learnt many new things from my staff there.. But some staff just don't like me..don't ask me why..*bld running*

Personal Life
*Social*
Its been long since i last met up with my friends, my girlfriends, my hyrulites and sj babies.. call me busy with work and everything..Well, thats my life now.. B-U-S-Y!!... been missing on alot of stuff from friends and everything..but hey..MESSAGE ME!!pleaseee...i really miss all of you out there you know..
*Love*
I'm officially LOST.. dun ask me.. i want to love him..but i cant tell him.. i want to tell him but i cant bring myself to tell him..Scared of losing him? Yes..



Enough of Updates For Now alrights?
I'll be back for more updates from now oN for sure..=)) back with a fast update..

been working hard these few weeks..
and seriously speaking, working life isnt that easy..
facing loads of pressure and stress everyday of my life..
feeling fear every movement..
Being an emotional(yet hot-tempered), i just cant have people speaking to me at the top of their voice..i can tell whether u are telling or ordering me around.. Just becoz i'm new, it doesnt give u the right to push me around...
Work life is HARD!!


I MISSING ONELOVE!!
miss my girlfriend fiza and and geng...
miss my adeq miemie..
miss my sj babies..
miss my SL geng..
I'm missing alot of people..

ONELOVECOUSINS!
**WhiteRose**/ aBg maMaL@1Love*/ Kak Ayu@1Love*/ abG hAn@1Love*/

HyrulAnuar*/HyruLites*/ FizaDear...*/AishahDear..*/ LianaLove*/KinDear..* SadiQ Jamilah..*/ GirlFriend!SV Bii*/Deq illa=D*

fErYnN@gaL2/ Anna@galgalCumSis/ PikMun@Mummy/ Esther*SL*/ Aaron@Kor/
HamyzaHalek/ whitepaperdoll/ SVcreationz/ Missy Tasya@missy/ catherine@Jie/ Missy Sipelle@Sis/ Missy Qing Huei@Sis/ Missy Rafian/ LiyAnA=)@SIsz/ Lizzie@Sis/ sHaHirAh@DEQ*loved*/ nani@DEQ*PersonalLove*/ Dilah@DEQ*loved*/ YiChin@juniorME/ sYaz@DEQ*loved*/ DeQ EyQa@adEq/ cRysTaL@mEi**/ aDeLiNe@gaLgaL/ eLLa/ dEQ Nurull2/ Umairah*XPS*